The Paradox of Time

Time is a strange thing.  It flows constantly forward and you can't stop it.  It's a juggernaut.  A beast.  A tank.  It doesn't listen to anybody or anything.

Time is really annoying because whenever you want it to speed up, like when you're sitting in a bored class, time slows down to a crawl.  Every time you check the clock, you feel 10 minutes have gone by, when only 30 seconds have gone by in reality.  Or, if there's a huge event like an awesome party or sweet vacation the next day, you'll have trouble waiting for the time to pass.

However, if you are hard-pressed for time, you want time to slow down for you.  But then, time starts accelerating to breakneck speeds.  When you're taking an atrociously difficult test under extreme time constraints, time starts flying by.  As you try and try to solve the problems, an hour goes by and time is called and you have to stop working.  Or, if you're playing some awesome, intense video games, but you look up and already an hour has gone by.

Thus, I have discovered the time function: v(n) = k/n, where v is the how fast time is passing, n is how much you need the time, and k is some constant.

I think it's rather true.  When you're cramming stuff right before, you wish you had just a few extra minutes, when you had an hour yesterday that you blew off because time was very unimportant at the time.

Actually, I think it has to do with how active your brain is.  Your brain uses all of it's processing power to do stuff, and the unused power goes to "processing" time.  So when you're very idle, your brain spends tons of resources doing nothing but thinking about time passing.  That makes time really slow because you're always thinking about it.  Then, when you're fully occupied, there is little to no brainpower going to processing time.  So it will fly by because you're not thinking about it.  Maybe during everyday mundane tasks, a second feels like a second, and that's the standard second that you feel.  This brain idea even takes into account when you're tired or your brain is at suboptimal performance.  If you're really sleepy, you don't have any processing power to do anything, so no matter what you're doing, time is flying by because you can't even think about time whether or not you wanted to.

Hence, I have discovered the brain-time function: v(b) = kb/B, where v is how fast you think time is going by, k is some other constant, b is how fast your brain is going, and B is your maximum brain speed at the moment.

So that's the paradox of time.  Time is so rebellious and unsympathetic.  It "deliberately" goes faster when you want it to slow down.  Time antagonizes you for fun.  It purposely goes slower when you want it to go faster. Anyway, none of what I just said has any scientific basis (as far as I know), so it's all just for fun!  Hooray!